Art Throughout the Ages: Egyptian (3100 BC - 30 BC)

There's so much to talk about with this one. When we talk of "Egyptian Art", we're basically talking about the whole culture! There's a lot of arty things that Egyptians did - from amazing architecture to beautiful busts and statues. Here's my attempt at a summary...

The character and style of Egyptian work was to maintain a homeometric sense of regularity and accurate representation of actual life and nature. Many great works of the time period depicted gods, goddesses and the ostensibly "divine" Pharaohs. And they usually focused on them by painting them on tomb walls dedicated to protecting the dead and giving them the best kind of afterlife. Often, sculptures included in the tombs of the dead would include slaves, buildings, boats and animals to ensure the best possible afterlife for the person whose tomb it was. Funny, how they were so pragmatic and prepared about and for death. Love em. Cuties.

Famous Egyptian art:

Statues of Ramesses II at the Abu Simbel temples
Construction probably started in 1264 lasting 20 years till 1244 BC (funny it's like moving backwards in time). It's generally considered the greatest temple of its time. Ramesses is sure one VIP pharaoh. Dude, each statue is like over 18 metres!

Queen Nefertari, wife of Ramses the Great

Annoying how she's labelled as a man's product but unfortunately that is just another thing that helps with the context of the time period. But yes she was really fricking rich. The below painting which was found in her tomb, can be viewed at the Museum of Metropolitan Art in the small city of New York. Sometimes, she has black skin. Because interestingly black skin symbolised "new life" to the Egyptians.

The Funerary Mask of Pharaoh Tutankhamen
This was made out of semiprecious stones and blue glass and... wait for it... Over 10 kilograms of solid gold. Yes, that's right. Solid. Fricking. Gold. Who knows how the mask didn't freaking crush the guys head when it was put on him? Anyway, the pharaoh himself was pretty av. Y'know he'd started his rule for the New Kingdom when he was only 9, lasted for 10 years, managed to marry his half-sister, yadda yadda yadda. same old same old for a pharaoh in those times!

The Great Sphinx of Giza

This I really want to see. Look how bloody awesome it is! A sphinx is some weird-ass guard-protector that the Egyptians made up to protect their tombs and temples etc. They usually had the face of a Pharaoh presumably to symbolise lots of money and therefore power to kick ur sorry ass if u got in the way and this head was on top of some hench/buff body of a lion. This particular sculpture is over 73 metres long!! A portion of this can be found in the British Museum (gosh so many reasons to visit that place it's making me nervous). Also, this thing is so old. As in it was probably made in 2500 BC!

(NB: I had a longer version of this blog post but unfortunately that didn't save though I pressed the stupid button at least fifty six times... this one isn't as good because I am an impatient and easily irritable person soz)

The Egyptians were awesome people. They had great style and fabulous eyeliner techniques (of which they used cos they thought it would protect their eyes from the sun sorry guys u shouldve put kohl on that cool glass u used to make masks). And their structures were fantastically pragmatic and fantastically impossible and immeasurably clever containing booby traps and amazing artworks. Their pyramids were much more than just brick and clay on top of each other. Comparing them to the South American pyramids is like comparing Prada to Primark. Okay maybe that's a bit too harsh. But you get my drift, no?

Respect your ancestors, yo. Just kidding... all the real Egyptians have died out by now!